Transformation: From Sunwalker-A Journal

October, 2018 I’m trying to think as I’m going through my separation, moving out and away from my hopes and dreams. I am trying to get to a place where I can re-collect the fragments of my identity, and move forward in wholeness, while my heart, soul, and mind all want different things. “My mind... Continue Reading →

24 Hours

I woke up in the dark, cocooned by cardboard boxes. I sent signals to my toes to wiggle, as I breathed in deeply. My arms were across my chest, vampire-like, not for any effect, but out of need within the cramped space. My combat boots were by my feet, removed to prevent sweating and rot.... Continue Reading →

Astral Double

When I was 13 or 14, I astrally projected. It was an involuntary, unintentional act. I had not studied the phenomena, or practiced any spiritual exercises to bring it on. I had fallen asleep, with my dog Rascal by my side. Rascal was a black mutt, with a dash of white on his chest. He... Continue Reading →

Summer Lights

That summer we ran the streets, a pack of feral children in heat. Our days and nights were consumed with drama we created, hungered for. Broken hearts and broken bottles, blood mixed with tears and laughter. Who were our masters? The selfish, the distant? The abusers, the neglectful? Out here, they had no say, no... Continue Reading →

S.B.T.S.

If my skull were to split, ripping my face apart, exposing everything inside of me, would you believe I've been open with you? Would you believe the miracle?

New Years Eve 2018/2019

Random thoughts this evening. New years. A promise for renewal written into the subconscious of man, as he awaited the sun's slow ascent toward spring and summer. A night of drunken laughter with friends and lovers. A night of loneliness for others, who face each day with foreboding. The wheel of time turns, seeking balance.... Continue Reading →

Summer Tension I

The three cops stared at Eddie, Van Gogh, and I, while we stared back. We had been at the foot of the stairs that led up to Bayview Apartments, in the alley behind the grocery store. It was mid afternoon, and we hadn't been expecting trouble, but they were obviously looking for it, and we... Continue Reading →

Death Comes Ripping

The dreams started when I became a young man; a time of isolation, frustration, and trying to process death. I had become fascinated by our inevitable demise. and started reading books like Man Is The Prey, a tome which documented various ways in which the animal kingdom took it's vengeance on man, whether charging rhinos,... Continue Reading →

You Alone

Journal Entry: Ever since I was around 4 years old, I've had a feeling of being alone. Because of this I would quickly grow attached to friends and girls, but would always be disappointed when it seemed that they couldn't return the affection. This led to feelings of betrayal and anger, as well as a... Continue Reading →

The Morlocks ch. 1

Eight o'clock came and went like the cold silence of empty institutional hallways. The seconds sang lonely lines of dismay, as the cool night air replaced the barren heat of the day. Radon sharpened his knife on the hard, grey stone, in a practiced rhythmic precision, as he hummed a quiet, somber tune that came... Continue Reading →

James

Let me tell you about James... About 30 years ago we used to chill in a run-down apartment complex in Northern Virginia. It was the type of place where black and white weren't the only colors, and Route 1 ran through the center of town, like lines drawn on a school playground- daring, taunting the... Continue Reading →

There Are Tales

There are tales of men in constant flux and wanting, unsettled thoughts in assassin's eyes, deluged by faces and time, who try to sing songs from their prisons. Their bodies are cages, taut and binding the pacing tiger souls inside. Death house dreaming, inconsiderate of their fictions. Freedom to kill and take but the pacing... Continue Reading →

Murphy’s Law Show

    This was our biggest show, opening for Murphy's Law. The crowd was moving to our music, and I was getting into the energy, stomping my foot with the sprained ankle, in defiance to the pain,  enjoying watching the dancers crash into each other from the stage. We went into a song called Skull Smash,... Continue Reading →

Pulse

This song was heard when no one was listening, spoken by solitude across the desert sands. This is the dance... Can you hear the rhythmic pounding of the idle mind? Can you hear the rhythmic pounding for the idol's mind? Pulse of the heartbeat in the temple, in the stars, in pupils reacting to light?... Continue Reading →

Sisters of Earth and Lycanthropic Hunger

Savage bearing, resting against the base of a giant tree, contemplating the hunt and the taste of passion, as her naked shoulders turn her shaggy head, flaxen hair tousled and moved by wanting, while her sister, dark and silent listens to the air, and stares from black, predatory orbs toward the sounds and scents.

Ecstasis

The night breathes strange, excited air, cool to the touch. All things surround and hold us in place- The earth, the air, the sky, the ages before and those to come, hold me in this moment of Eternity with comfortable arms, divine wings. The roses are singing to my sister. She is in ecstasy on... Continue Reading →

Still Life

The first time I went into the bathroom, there was blood on the walls of the last stall, splattered like paint thrown excitedly on a canvas, by some soul exploding its essence outward, through the finite matter of its shell- Death painting white bricks. Still life. True high art to draw the senses upward in... Continue Reading →

Shadow Walker

Night-time blanket shield me, the Shadow Walker, from shady dreams and nightmare vision. Thunder in the earth, this ghetto is shaking, the sound inspiring wild dances. Milk-White and loathed, the Pale Ghost moving quickly through alleys, and thoroughfares teeming with ant-like lines gathering what they find, and corner-boy-soldiers, front stoop eyes, night and day the... Continue Reading →

Sun Walker

Bare feet burning, black-top soul, singing, singeing. Hard, leather feet, softer than shoes and glass shards, hard enough to move and keep on burning, as the Sun beats down slow, passionate caresses, concentric circles washing away impurity. Line upon line, wave after wave, each ray a Word from the Lover's hand, pressed against my skin,... Continue Reading →

These Shitty Tattoos part I

   These shitty tattoos were pushed into my skin with safety pins and india ink. I didn’t care about “art” at the time, believing I would be dead before I turned 21. What was the point? The cops were on our asses for existing, the newspapers condemned us, the schools didn’t care, and there was... Continue Reading →

Satanic Panic-Playing With Rats intro

  There was a time in the 80’s where a phenomenon known as the Satanic Panic occurred. In Dale City, Virginia it was led by Investigator Lupton. He had appeared in newspaper articles to condemn anyone who listened to punk and heavy metal as Satanic, and had named The Outcasts, a gang of punks and metalheads... Continue Reading →

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